The Law of Attraction/Positive Reinforcement

So today I am spotting. It is day 25. I don't even actually know if I ovulated. I never got a strong positive OPK. I had cramps and pain around day 15, but I know that 9 days is just not enough. I wonder if it's a fluke because of the HSG? I am just feeling down about it all today.
My friend suggested that I make a vision board with lots of pictures of pregnant women and babies and look at it each day, and say "I WILL get pregnant this month" because according to the Law of Attraction, putting out what I want to the universe will bring around what I want. She also suggested Acupuncture, based on the fact that it took her a year to get pregnant with  her daughter, and the month she went to acupuncture BAM! pregnant. So I am thinking about all of this.
Right now I just want to sit and eat crap food and cry. :(  Why is this SO hard???

Distraction in the 2WW

        Shopping!!! Always my favourite distraction. It is really something that I don't do very often.  I do however LOVE to shop. I am a bargain hunter extrodinare! I love finding coupons and on sale items. It's awesome. On Friday, my best girls and I are heading to the US of A(Portland and Freeport Maine to be more specific)  for our annual shopping trip. We power shop from sun up to sun down and get ALL our Christmas shopping done in those days. We save up all year, and we really buy all we need for the next year. The outlet shopping in Freeport is fantastic! Gap and Banana Republic factory outlets are my favourite. I really also LOVE the time I get to spend with my best girls.

I have been dealing with a sick babe these last 4 days, and after being shut in with a crying, whimpering, feverish, vomiting 2 year old, I am MORE than ready to have some time away.  Plus what better a way to keep me occupied from thinking obsessively about pregnancy than shopping?

Let me tell you, nothing breeds crazy, obsessive thoughts like spending 4 long days laying on the couch with a sick babe!! hahaha! I am super pumped for Friday!!!!

HSG complete!

And all is clear! It was uncomfortable, but tolerable. Now I am home hanging out with some dull cramping and a fair amount of bleeding.  I notice everything right now, but I am not in pain per-say. So, all in all a success!  Now I go back to Dr. Trites in 2-3 weeks for a follow up.  Now I wait for ovulation and hope for the best!

Twas the night before my HSG..

And all through my head, crazy thoughts are a stirrin'!  I just can't seem to separate myself from the anxiety of this procedure tomorrow. I have HUGE fear that it is going to be very painful. I have heard varying degrees of pain from different people.  I also have completed Clomid round 4 at 150mgs. What a doozie of a dose that was! I was dizzy again, and have had MAJOR hot flashes.  It has not been super fun round here!
I am hopeful that this will be our month, and I am having a hard time not being completely sure that this will work this time. I know that I will be devastated this time if it is not the fix I needed. I am worried about having to go down the fertility clinic road. So here I still, waiting, waiting, waiting..
Boo

On to the next cycle!

CD 1 Here we are again. However, I am just trying to stay positive, especially knowing that we are doing something different this cycle.
Why is this just so hard???

Spotty, spotty, spot

That is what is happening. Just light pink, but combined with my temp drop this morning, I am pretty confident I am out. On to the HSG I go. It is frustrating, but at least we are trying something different this cycle, and the HSG has an fertility increase of 30-35% for the next 3 months after the procedure.  That also would mean a summer due date.  So not so bad for my school year.
I just feel MEH at this point.

2 WW'in it up

Trying not to go completely Bat shit crazy this month is like trying to hold a Popsicle!! I am always in habit of over-thinking every.little.twinge, or I am guilty of thinking every thing I feel is a symptom.  I am bloated, I must be pregnant, I have sore nips, must be pregnant (even though I always have them at this point...) Tired? Definitely pregnant haha was that nausea? I am waking up at like 5 am and I can't get back to sleep, so I lay in bed tossing and turning wondering the whole time if I am pregnant, how will I tell people, will I get an early ultrasound etc etc etc.

I am glad for the distraction that this weekend will bring what with my sister coming home with my niece, and the baptism, plus 2 Thanksgiving dinners, I hopefully can put a lot of my crazy thoughts out of my head.

Also, my close friend, the one who found out she is pregnant? She had another miscarriage over the weekend. I am just SO devestated for her. I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that this has happened to her twice! If is just so unfair.  Needless to say, it has been a little dark in these parts lately. :(

I am scheduled to go for my HSG on October 16th if this cycle does not work out as planned.  I already have a call into my OBGYN to see what she wants me to do Clomid-wise because the end of this cycle is due to arrive in 3 days over the long weekend.  Obviously she will not be around then, So I figured I would be proactive and call in advance.    Let's hope that I don't need either the clomid OR the HSG!! 

The Perspective Maker: When you think you have it bad, someone else always has it a little worse......

 

At least I don't have THIS problem!! hahaha!!