This is the worst part about having THE longest cycles of life. You have to wait sooo friggen long to get your answer. I am at the point now where I just want to know because I am ready to move onto the next cycle. I don't know why I've given up hope. I just have the worst feeling that I am out this cycle. Everyone says... "when it's the right time it will happen". No effing duh.. clearly there is nothing I can do to change the outcome of this, but they just don't understand that this is the 'right' time for me.
I want this so bad I can taste it. I feel like everyone around me is getting pregnant, and here I sit STILL waiting! Even the people who arn't "Trying" per say (but not preventing) are getting pregnant! I feel like burying myself in a pile of blankets until the weekend.
Nice post right? How Debbie Downer of me.
I guess that's what cycle day 34 and 9 days past ovulation turns me into. A Moody, emotional mess.
PMS? Symptoms? God only knows. Other things going on with my body.. sore boobs, cramps for a week and ridiculous dreams. Like we are talking about dreaming I was in the Walking Dead WTF?
Monday 28 November 2011
Wednesday 23 November 2011
A Surprise Snow Day
Today is an awesome day. I get to be home with my sweet love of a baby boy, and neither of us are sick! Snow Days are truly the sweetest gift you can get as a teacher. Totally unprofessional I know, but who wouldn't love a day off in the middle of their work week? Really though?!
What's on the docket today? Making from scratch my favourite soup ever. What is better than on a cold snowy day than a delicious bowl of your fav soup for supper. Not much in my opinion. The down fall to today? The 2 week wait(2WW) obsession can continue with not much distraction.
I have about 9 days before I can test, so I have been having major cramps for 3 days now. What does that mean you ask? At this point not much haha
I would guess I am not the only person to obsess about what is going on with her body during the interesting time of trying to get pregnant, but I am glad that I made the choice to start documenting the process. I really do forget what I felt when I was pregnant with Ben, and I regret not doing this when I had the first thoughts back in 09. Even if no one reads this other than me, I at least will have a great journal of my late twenties.
What's on the docket today? Making from scratch my favourite soup ever. What is better than on a cold snowy day than a delicious bowl of your fav soup for supper. Not much in my opinion. The down fall to today? The 2 week wait(2WW) obsession can continue with not much distraction.
I have about 9 days before I can test, so I have been having major cramps for 3 days now. What does that mean you ask? At this point not much haha
I would guess I am not the only person to obsess about what is going on with her body during the interesting time of trying to get pregnant, but I am glad that I made the choice to start documenting the process. I really do forget what I felt when I was pregnant with Ben, and I regret not doing this when I had the first thoughts back in 09. Even if no one reads this other than me, I at least will have a great journal of my late twenties.
Tuesday 22 November 2011
the dreaded TWO WEEK WAIT!
So I'm pretty sure I ovulated. I'm still not sure how to read Fertility friend and my chart, but I am working on it. Based on my temps and cervical fluid it seems that I have ovulated, so now I am stuck in that awful two week wait before I can test. I *Think* that I am 3 dpos but I have to wait for 3 days of higher temps to confirm the ovulation(as per fertility friend rules) God!
I feel like I've been obsessing over this for the last month, and now that I feel like I am in the home stretch it's torture!! I just need to know NOW. clearly I won't,because, let's face it, I probably am not even actually pregnant yet, but man the waiting sucks. I analyze every, and I mean every thing my body is doing... could THIS be a symptom?? blahhh
I guess that I will have to fill my thoughts with something other than the two lines I am dreaming to see. Bring on the Christmas decorating!!
I feel like I've been obsessing over this for the last month, and now that I feel like I am in the home stretch it's torture!! I just need to know NOW. clearly I won't,because, let's face it, I probably am not even actually pregnant yet, but man the waiting sucks. I analyze every, and I mean every thing my body is doing... could THIS be a symptom?? blahhh
I guess that I will have to fill my thoughts with something other than the two lines I am dreaming to see. Bring on the Christmas decorating!!
Wednesday 16 November 2011
The Waiting Game
So here we are Cycle Day 22. Ovulation? I don't know. My stupid body has been f-ed up since my august cycle. I originally thought that maybe my thyroid was out of whack again because that is usually the contributor to long cycles for me,so I went for blood work at the end of September, and all was normal on that side. I also have recently lost 10 lbs,which for me, is quite a lot and quite noticeable. My Doctor attributed it to the stress of going back to work after a nice relaxing summer. I don't know. I still eat the same amount, but maybe since I switched grade from teaching grade 4 to grade 1 I am running around more?
Who knows..
Anyway, so I have been checking my CM and temping and charting, but since I am too cheap to invest in the VIP fertility friend I am not sure when my ovulation is. I can see clear dips and peaks in my temps, but I can't read them. Yesterday the OPK was negative, and today I am having A LOT of egg white CM. I guess all I can do is test with the OPK again tonight when I get home, and keep on temping/checking CM.
Am I in the two week wait? Did we time "it" right? When is AF going to show her dirty face.. I guess all I can do is keep playing the waiting game!
Who knows..
Anyway, so I have been checking my CM and temping and charting, but since I am too cheap to invest in the VIP fertility friend I am not sure when my ovulation is. I can see clear dips and peaks in my temps, but I can't read them. Yesterday the OPK was negative, and today I am having A LOT of egg white CM. I guess all I can do is test with the OPK again tonight when I get home, and keep on temping/checking CM.
Am I in the two week wait? Did we time "it" right? When is AF going to show her dirty face.. I guess all I can do is keep playing the waiting game!
Tuesday 15 November 2011
Ramblings...A Little about us
So now that I have jumped into this, I feel like I should give a little background to my life.
I am Hillary, a 28 year old wife and Mom. My Hubbs and I have been together for 6.5years, married for just over 3. We met at our mutual university part-time job, both with significant others at the time. Our other relationships faded out, and we began to date. 2 Years later we married on 08/08/08 on the most beautiful day ever, and December that same year we unexpectedly found out we were expecting. We had talked about children of course, and we were starting to toss the idea around of adding to our family, when I realized that my dear sweet friend Aunt Flo was no where to be seen. This came as a surprise because I was on Birth Control, and had been for the 10 years previous with no problems... so, needless to say, I was shocked when that test showed two sweet lines.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday.. glancing down in utter disbelief, mouth dropped wide. I was pregnant!! I started to smile, ran into our bedroom, bouncing on the bed, waking my still sleeping Hubbs up, waving the test in his face. We were shocked and thrilled and terrified all at the same time.
Fast forward two weeks of smug secret keeping, to Christmas day. We naively announced to our families that we were going to be parents. We all were so excited and our Christmas day was sweet and blissful. December 26th 2008, a day I will never forget. I was having a lot of back pain, and just attributed it to sleeping wrong, and then the bleeding started. I was so terrified, and I couldn't stop from crying and shaking. Deep down I knew what was happening.
I went to my Doctor's office the next day, and he sent me for an ultrasound. Hubbs and I went to the ultrasound appointment, terrified hand clutching terrified hand. The ultrasound screen said it all, and the silence from our tech spoke volumes. We just sat there staring at the picture of my empty uterus. Devastated. Our dreams and excitement robbed from us so quickly.
It turns out that my thyroid levels were extremely high, diagnosing me with Hypothyroidism. My loss was due to my high levels. I was put on synthroid and have been on it ever since.
It took 6 months for my levels to get back to normal, and for us to get the go ahead to start trying to conceive again. Hello July 2009, first month out for us, no charting, no temping, BAM, I was pregnant again.
After another bleeding scare at 7 weeks and a difficult pregnancy (which I eventually will tell you all about) I was blessed with a quick and easy delivery, and a beautiful peanut of a baby boy (5lbs11oz). Ben hung out in the NICU for 5 days on phototherapy lights to get his bili levels down, and then we were able to take him home.
It has been almost 20 months since Benjamin's birth and We feel ready to add to our family once again. Currently I am on cycle day 21 out of a possible 40(ish) I have irregular cycles and I ovulate pretty late in my cycle. So we are jumping into this thing with both feet for the next 2+ weeks.
That is a tidbit of where we have come from, and where we hope to end up. Keep your fingers crossed that we can get pregnant quickly again!!
I am Hillary, a 28 year old wife and Mom. My Hubbs and I have been together for 6.5years, married for just over 3. We met at our mutual university part-time job, both with significant others at the time. Our other relationships faded out, and we began to date. 2 Years later we married on 08/08/08 on the most beautiful day ever, and December that same year we unexpectedly found out we were expecting. We had talked about children of course, and we were starting to toss the idea around of adding to our family, when I realized that my dear sweet friend Aunt Flo was no where to be seen. This came as a surprise because I was on Birth Control, and had been for the 10 years previous with no problems... so, needless to say, I was shocked when that test showed two sweet lines.
I remember that moment like it was yesterday.. glancing down in utter disbelief, mouth dropped wide. I was pregnant!! I started to smile, ran into our bedroom, bouncing on the bed, waking my still sleeping Hubbs up, waving the test in his face. We were shocked and thrilled and terrified all at the same time.
Fast forward two weeks of smug secret keeping, to Christmas day. We naively announced to our families that we were going to be parents. We all were so excited and our Christmas day was sweet and blissful. December 26th 2008, a day I will never forget. I was having a lot of back pain, and just attributed it to sleeping wrong, and then the bleeding started. I was so terrified, and I couldn't stop from crying and shaking. Deep down I knew what was happening.
I went to my Doctor's office the next day, and he sent me for an ultrasound. Hubbs and I went to the ultrasound appointment, terrified hand clutching terrified hand. The ultrasound screen said it all, and the silence from our tech spoke volumes. We just sat there staring at the picture of my empty uterus. Devastated. Our dreams and excitement robbed from us so quickly.
It turns out that my thyroid levels were extremely high, diagnosing me with Hypothyroidism. My loss was due to my high levels. I was put on synthroid and have been on it ever since.
It took 6 months for my levels to get back to normal, and for us to get the go ahead to start trying to conceive again. Hello July 2009, first month out for us, no charting, no temping, BAM, I was pregnant again.
After another bleeding scare at 7 weeks and a difficult pregnancy (which I eventually will tell you all about) I was blessed with a quick and easy delivery, and a beautiful peanut of a baby boy (5lbs11oz). Ben hung out in the NICU for 5 days on phototherapy lights to get his bili levels down, and then we were able to take him home.
It has been almost 20 months since Benjamin's birth and We feel ready to add to our family once again. Currently I am on cycle day 21 out of a possible 40(ish) I have irregular cycles and I ovulate pretty late in my cycle. So we are jumping into this thing with both feet for the next 2+ weeks.
That is a tidbit of where we have come from, and where we hope to end up. Keep your fingers crossed that we can get pregnant quickly again!!
Monday 14 November 2011
Beginnings..
So.. here we are. I am diving into the blogging world. I have been debating doing this since my husband and I starting thinking about TTC# 1. I feel like there is so much for me to say, and I can't necessarily say all I want to the people around me in my real life. So this blog is a new beginning for me. My husband and I are trying to conceive our second child, and I cannot share the ups and downs of the charting, temping and OPK world with my friends and family, so I am sharing it with the rest of the world haha. This blog will be my attempt to record and remember all the things I can't remember on my own.
Hello Blogging world, I am thrilled to be here!!
Hello Blogging world, I am thrilled to be here!!
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