Ok, so here's the long and short of it all. I need to calm the eff down. I am making myself and my hubbs crazy. Truly Crazy. I am over analysing every thing that is going on with my body right now. My chart on Fertility friend keeps changing when I ovulated, so now I am not sure it any of our timing was right. Today was the number I had put into my own head for a testing date. Things temperature wise have been on par... the number has sky rocketed, and stayed up, so that's great. I guessed that I was 13 dpo, so I broke out a test this morning, and Big ol' Negative. Very clearly NOT PREGNANT. Ok, so I am down about that and don't understand. When I put my temp into Fertility Friend it moves my ovulation day to 4 days ago.
4 days ago...
Did you catch that??
4 days ago...
so maybe I didn't ovulate when I thought back on day 25. If that is the case I am pretty much starting my 2WW all over again. WTF! I just thought I went through it!! It truly is maddening. I am at the point where I am exhausted of trying to guess what is going on with my body. So I have decided that I am going to dive into the spirit of the season and let go of worrying so much about myself. How effing selfish am I. Wah wah wah I have long cycles.. wah wah wah I need to man up and put myself aside and start thinking about what I can do to make this holiday special for others in my life.
I am not testing and not worrying about if I am pregnant or not. If I am, I am, if I'm not, AF will show up eventually. If I haven't had a period by the 20th I will test. By then I should know either way. That will be cycle day 56 and LORD knows I should start by then!!
Tomorrow we are getting our Christmas Tree, my best GFs are coming over, and tonight is my work Christmas party. A GREAT kick off to the weekend and the holiday season! (Let's hope this attitude sticks around for longer than today, and I can control myself and not POAS! GAH!!)
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