Stepping away

It's time. I need to step away. From Blogging, from fertility meds, from being baby crazy.  It has been an emotional roller coaster around here lately. We have had health concerns within our work place in which we weren't certain whether it has been the cause of my infertility and the loss of 6 babies from 5 co-workers in a 6 month span. It has been stressful and exhausting and devastating for the last month, and it has been very hard.
The decision to step away from fertility meds and treatments did not come easily or was not taken lightly. After a 31 day cycle, after 2 months of 24-25 day cycles on the Clomid, I was convinced that I may be pregnant since I have not had a cycle that long since before I started Clomid. After many negative tests and a negative Beta blood test, my hopes were completely dashed. Devastation does not even begin to explain how I felt, and then I had to go run Parent Teacher interviews.

I just can't do it anymore. I'm exhausted and I just need to face the reality that I may not be able to have anymore children. I am giving it back to God. These Quotes have resonated with me lately...

 

I may find my way back, I just need some time to learn how to dance in the rain.